I have not updated this blog since February 2015. Where I have been? In short, I have been in a relationship, moved away from my family home, and my tutoring business has expanded a lot and has really kept me on my toes. The period covering August 2014 to now has seen some big changes in my personal life. The most important change for me was to take control of my love life and start dating. This is something I touched on briefly before.
2013 and 2014 were years of profound change for me in terms of many of my cultural belief systems and values. The way I look changed as well as I lost some weight, got a fashion makeover, quit refined sugar and upped my gym and running routine. On the inside, I went through a lot of introspection and thanks to some invaluable mentoring and guidance I started to have the courage to let go of some old cultural beliefs that were no longer relevant, and were holding me back massively in the world of dating.
I felt the burden of conforming to my Indian family expectation of getting an arranged marriage, and the way the dating rules are written in the rural part where my father grew up. His death in 2005 bought me closer to India and I went to India almost every year since. I was beginning to see where my dating beliefs were actually coming from, a small patch of land in rural India where my father, grandfather and previous generations grew up. I was finally able to see that these beliefs were implicit, and in 2013, I told all my family that I do not want to get arranged marriage.
I was finally set free to try online dating and when someone would suggest setting me up with a friend of theirs I was open to that. I met someone at a wedding in 2014 who later set me up with a friend. It was a nice date. I started going on first dates without any guilt! They were introductory meetings rather than dates as such, or somewhere in between maybe.
In August 2014 I got into a beautiful relationship. I experienced what it is like to spend special moments and share your life’s day to day moments with someone. I went on many dates, we gave each other gifts, and surprise gifts! I supported her through her many changes in life, and she supported me. We met each other’s families and I realised that dating is more than just two individuals coming together, it is their friends and family also getting to know each other. For me this was a culmination of a lot of my effort, letting go of many fears and jumping into the unknown. I was dating outside my culture, and in the way I wanted to. It is the most beautiful thing that has happened to me.